I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Randomize
