Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Randomize
