i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
i think my tv is drunk
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Breakfast sounds amazing but can we do IHOP instead? I have to pick up a Plan B pill and there’s a CVS next to it
Randomize
