oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Randomize
