I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
I just ate powdered extacy out of my wallet. I think I might have for a second of my reasonable life been on your level.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
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