It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
Randomize
