Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Either your boy toy or the kid who pulled a knife on me in high school is here
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Randomize
