cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
I'm always down for nudity.
Randomize
