D3 body, D1 cock
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
You called in. Quitter. You stayed at home naked drinking again didnt you.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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