We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
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