two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
