Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
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