Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize