we have officially lost it.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
Randomize
