Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
