i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize