i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Member that time when we got super drunk and had fun and fell in love
I remember it like it was tomorrow.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Totally writing my paper on the toilet. Makes me miss you.
Randomize
