I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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