Taylor Swift is so right about you.
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
Randomize
