Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
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