remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I would rather get explosive diarrhea at the aquarium than go home alone tonight
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
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