I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
all i wanted was to be slutty. now i'm meeting him for drinks tomorrow because he woke up before i had a chance to sneak out and was too polite to say no
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
At orientation, some girl is asking, loudly, where she can get weed. Everyone looks discussed but are paying very close attention to people's answers.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
