O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
Randomize
