I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Randomize
