We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
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