I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
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