____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
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