I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I feel like it could help stop wars and begin world peace and the continents can unite for one Monday because chicken fries come back today
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
