I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
Randomize
