Got a toothbrush?
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
