went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
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