im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
