we're blogging at a bar
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
