even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
I love having hate sex.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
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