she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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