He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
