I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
