are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I find it ironic that homeless people are so good in bed
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Randomize
