i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I`m watching Shallow Hal & Jack Black has better nipples than Jimmy's chick.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Randomize
