I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I woke up with a russian doll attached to my necklace and a post-it note with "keep babushka safe" written on it. Fuck vodka
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
My horseshoe mustache feels at home at this bar.
And then my night got REAL pukey
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
How many fucks given?
0.12846
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