I'll probably hate you when I'm sober
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
I'm never drinking with you again. I woke up in Midtown with a 7' tall Norwegian rugby player named Lexie. Never. Again.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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