If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
so when he he finally wandered back into the room it was with a pound of cream cheese which he ate in 5 minutes flat and then passed out
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Why can't all sociopaths be as fabulous as me?
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Randomize
