I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Its like he woke the dragon, and the dragon is hungry for a good dick.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize