no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I took 20 bucks from you because when I woke up I saw more of you than I ever wanted to see bro.
Totally acceptable.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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