so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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