Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
sorry about having a shotput competition with your microwave, seemed like a good idea at the time
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
im going to hold it over his head for all of eternity. when his children are born i am going to go to the hospital as his wife is giving birth and shove the picture in the childs face, so the first time they see their father is in a drunken stupor looking like a jackass.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
