i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
she was so "full of love" from watching twilight that she came over and gave me a handjob. when does the next movie come out?
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
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