The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
