So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
