i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
