I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i’m just listening to christina aguilera’s “your body” on repeat and trying not to pass out at my desk.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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