I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
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