Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
somedays, I wish the drugs you give me would convince me they were a bad idea preingestion.
where's the fun in that?
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
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