if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize