Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
It's the foolproof way to identify who didn't get laid last night
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
We have so much sex to catch up on
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
