I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Randomize
