Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
Randomize