Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ps I'm glad our relationship hasn't progressed into having to get married so we legally can't testify against each other
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
he had shaved armpits. I repeat: HE SHAVED. HIS. ARMPITS! First hookup of 2014 and it's with a weirdo. Alcohol:1 Me:0
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
He said I have the “Denzel Washington” of vaginas.
Randomize
