OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
He said his penis was a 1 woman penis with a conscience an I was that woman...technically a declaration of commitment rite?
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Randomize
