ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
