You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
i mean, not my actual scene but if someone says "PARTY" ill figure it out
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Randomize
