question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize