We need to start having sex underwater more often.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You know when you can feel the alcohol in your toes? That's a great feeling.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
i was in burrito mode and too drunk to move. no fucks were given. none.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
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