even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
Randomize
