we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
What people don't tell you about near death experiences is they give you a full on chub
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
