omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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