Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I've got enough liquor to do one of two things on Friday: 1.) Drink myself into a coma or 2.) lay in bed a drunk and cry lonely mess. Happy Valentines Day.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
