once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
Just left some random in my bed to go get mcdonalds breakfast. I'd say my priorities are on point.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize