I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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