peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
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