This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
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