I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
After throwing up in a tequila bottle on my nightstand (still not sure how she did that) she asked if she could slip into something more comfortable.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
That is the best grammar in a dirty text ever. Excellent use of the semi-colon. And yes; I am hard.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
For someone who claims to be straight, she knows a hell of a lot about bi erasure, and one Hayley Kiyoko song too many
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
