dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I just found scrambled eggs in my shower. Thanks for that, asshole.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I seriously just rolled a joint on my high school diploma. I feel like I've come so far.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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