i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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