I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
I am stoned, not wearing a bra, and a woman. There is no way in fuck I am getting on a fucking bus.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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