Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
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