so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm watching this guy on intervention hospitalized for liver damage. He's drinking the hand sanitizer in the hospital room. Say hello to your future.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
Getting business cards printed for tonight. Would you rather be: 1. Vice President of Argentina 2. Celebrity Dental Assistant or 3. Dial-Up Internet Technician
3. Dial-Up Internet Technician.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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