it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
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