haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
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