Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I have a question, if it paid really well, like ridiculously well, would you be a restaraunts under the table resident blowjob girl?
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
