If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
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