need another drink. this is the easiest way
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Important life lesson - flammable and inflammable mean the same thing
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize