I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
i thought i was pinching her nipple. It was her mole
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
You told his date she had the tits to be a stripper and the personality to be the pole. Of course he's pissed off.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
Randomize
